Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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