I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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