thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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