They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
