Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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