nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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