Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
