i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
