I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
