My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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