I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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