wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
