I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
