From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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