i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
