Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
