so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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