Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
