"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and she was petting her beer can
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
