I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
