Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
