Sponge bath it is.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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