I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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