If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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