just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
