no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
