I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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