Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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