it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.