My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions