Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?