I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night