God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.