First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
