my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize