when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
