she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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