how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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