It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
