Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
