I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Enjoy the penises
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
