I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Im part way to drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
