spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
