Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
