Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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