You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
