I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
why is half of my head shaved?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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