New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
