I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
