Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
birth control should be required to get into college
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
