I don't usually arrange sex via text message
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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