I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
