Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to be your penis for a week.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
