Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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