Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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