i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
