woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
