Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
