Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize