Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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