you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
