I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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