I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
