you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
