i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
