I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize