oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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